Archive for March, 2009

So, I’m working on a screenplay to shop around in August, and at the same time reading Robert McKee’s Story. Rather than applying the principles of storyteling to my screenplay, I’ve found myself applying them to web design and marketing.Stories are very important to our lives. Not only do they allow us to escape into exotic places with interesting characters, but everything shapes itself into a story. Consider your clothing, the people you know, news and political events, the places you go, and even your jobs; all of these things are stories.

Godin says that any company tells a story, and a marketer’s job is to enhance that story in its marketing. (I’m not a marketer, so even though I read the book Godin will do a better job explaining his ideas. Check out his book!) So the next question is, “What are the principles of storytelling?” It’s easy to understand that a good story can sell anything. Harder to, well, make a good story.

That’s why I’m recommending this book to marketers. Combine Godin’s principles of marketing with McKee’s principles of storytelling, and you’re golden.

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So, I still have a computer virus, and this morning I’ve been thinking about what Chuck Person would do in this situation.

Let me expose some more Chuck to you. According to my sources (wikipedia), Chuck had an ongoing rivalry with Larry Bird. Now, even the sports layman knows that Larry Bird is an all star in the basketball world. In the end, Chuck probably lost. To be frank, he went down (standing or not.)

Now, I’ve been fighting this virus since last Thursday. I’ve done all the normal tricks: system restore, anti-virus software, etc. The virus has continued to outpace me, and I nearly pulled out all my hair on Saturday. I thought I was bigger than the virus. I thought I had the necessary means to beat it. Now, I’m dealing with the fact that I’ll need to rely on a specialist.

Ugh, defeat is ugly. Chuck knows that better than myself. And he chose to say, “These people haven’t seen the last of my face. If I go down, I’m going down standing up.”  And that makes a lot of sense to me right now. You see, the first part of the quote is very prideful. I’ll get the last laugh! But then he adds an amendment. If he goes down, he’ll still be prideful.

I’m very proud of myself for knowing more about computers than the average person. If this had been a simpler virus, I would’ve beaten. But this virus was a bitch, and for that I’m going down.

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Ugh, you know, I’ve gone my entire computer owning life without a computer virus. I’ve avoided Napster, Limewire, shady sites, weird emails, untrusted programs. BUT NO!!! Where do I get a virus? A TRUSTED BLOG THAT WAS HACKED TO INCLUDE A VIRUS!

So thus begins the epic battle between man and computer virus. Man is simple, 23, and only armed with few weapons. Virus is a Goliath competitor with its ability to snake into my computer files without my knowledge. Yes, the bookie has informed me that everyone is betting their money that virus will win. Virus nearly always wins. See, because he doesn’t stop at infecting your computer. No, that would be too kind. He makes you drag your computer tower to the nearest Geek Squad, and laughs at you while they charge you out the butt to fix it.

And this is a snarky virus. Okay, get this…

Okay…yes, it’s all my fault. The license expired on my anti-virus software, but I thought, “eh, it’ll be alright. I don’t visit hazardous sites.”

Everybody say it with me: “Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong wrong.” Sigh. “Wrong wrong wrong wrong.”

And the snarky virus has chosen to mock me for my oversight. See, it’s infected my computer to point to websites that sell anti-virus software, change my background to say “Hey, computer’s infected dumbbutt. Maybe you should get anti-virus software,” and if it could it would just go through my personal data, purchase anti-virus software, and tell me that it, a computer virus, is smarter than me.


Okay…I think my computer has just purchased anti-virus software for me…

Goddamn it, virus. You just couldn’t stop. You had to kill every little inch of dignity within my body.

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